My Pregnancy Journal Link Up - Week 4, 31 Weeks!

I am about to be 31 weeks. I can't believe it. It has now reached the point of "wow, I can't believe how fast this is going and that I will have a baby soon!!!", and "wow I am 31 weeks but I feel like I've been pregnant forever and how can I still have like 9 weeks to go???" Depends on the moment of the day on which thought is running through my head!

So, what's the low down this week?

• I am going to the doctor every 2 weeks now. Last week's appointment was smooth sailing. All is good, and I could basically not be doing anymore beautifully than I am, minus the anemic thing. Which isn't a huge deal fortunately. Doctor and I went through my birth plan, what I want, that my doula will be there, what issues could we run into with the hospital and their "rules", how can we compromise and work it out, blablabla, and I'm actually very happy with what we have laid out. My doctor and I are both ok with all the plans we have in place, and we discussed if things don't go as plan how that would go down as well. A huge weight has been lifted! Its good knowing that she is on board and we're all set.
• I am starting to gather supplies for my hospital bag. Got some little tiny soap and shampoo bottles, travel toothpaste and whatnot, and am starting to really think about what all I need to bring. I also really want to wear my own clothes during the delivery and afterwards because I can't stand those hospital gowns. Problem is, I don't have anything I'm cool with getting destroyed in birth, lol, and the gowns I have found online for are SO expensive for what they are. I have an idea for a "tshirt dress" style nursing/delivery gown that should be pretty quick to throw together, so I am hoping I will find the energy to just make a couple of those with some cheap shirts and fabric, since I am really only planning to use them the day of the birth and any time I have to spend in the hospital. And seeing as there is a fairly good chance they're not going to be so pretty after I have, ya know, had a baby in them, I don't want to spend a lot of money, lol.
• My ankles are officially SWOLLEN. I can't really get rid of it. I've tried. Its not too bad, but I glare at them in an unpleasant way all day. I'm trying to control them with my mind into shrinking, or at least not getting any bigger. My sweet husband has been rubbing my feet and ankles for me every night to help keep them from getting too bad. He's such a dear! Will tries to help rub them during the day sometimes. But he's 3, and basically just smacks them and then tells me they are better now. Oh well. At least he is trying. I think its sweet!
• I am totally craving ICE. OH my goodness. Ii is delicious!!! Last week I really "liked" ice...but this week if you were walking down the street with a snocone I would totally steal it out of your hands and feel no guilt or shame (ok, maybe a little guilt and shame...but I would probably still take it). Too bad I can't find any snocone places that are open!Sonic slushes are an ok substitute, but its just not the same. I find myself going to the kitchen and filling cups with crushed ice and just...eating it. I know its weird (and apparently called pica). From what I've read it seems to be connected with the anemia, but since its just ice and I'm not craving things like glass or dirt (seriously?) its not really a problem as long as I'm not munching on big gigantic pieces that could hurt my teeth.
• I finished making my baby registry/ries. We don't have a lot on there we need. My husband even made me add more things on there that I just "wanted" because he said our family will go look at it and have nothing to buy us, lol. I was trying to be conservative. Maybe I had taken it too far.
• I did buy a diaper bag today. I had 2 bags with Will - one was too small, the other too big, and I didn't like either. I gave the big one away, and I killed the small one by shoving it way too full all the time and by the time he was 18 months the poor bag was practically shredded at the seams. Diaper bags are WAY too expensive. So I found a cute tote at Walmart with a zippered top that was the perfect size, and it was less than $5. Score!
• There is still a baby in my rib. I'm sort of used to it now.
• I now can't get comfortable to sleep. I am sooo tired just because I keep waking up at night so many times. I guess I'm just getting trained for having a newborn again. Haha!

Discussion Question: Where will you be delivering your baby (hospital, birthing center, home, other)? What kind of birth are you planning for (vaginal, c-section, med-free...)?

We will be delivering at the hospital - same one where my son was born actually. We are planning vaginal, med-free birth. Both my children have been vaginal births and have had no issues at all as far as that goes. With both I did end up on an epidural, but this time I want to avoid that. The epidural may have been a contributing factor in an illness my daughter had when she was born, and then my son was very drowsy from it at first and took a while to breastfeed. I also feel like both times the epidural wasn't fully my choice, that I was kind of pressured into it by the hospital staff because I wasn't strong enough to stand up for what I wanted and didn't have the proper support. I think its fine to get an epidural if its your choice and its what you want or need to do. But I didn't have that experience, and so I feel like both my births were kind of "taken" from me. I don't want to feel that way this time. And I feel like God has put me in a place to where I have the right people around me, the right support, and the faith in Him that is going to get me through this. Whether its natural or there is a complication or whatever, this time I know that God is going to be in control, and he is going to guide me and give me peace with our decisions, so that I can have healing from my past experiences.


And now, just as a side note (a rather long side note). I think that baby names can mean a lot. Whether you plan for them to or not. So I wanted to share my kids names, and how I think its so neat how their names and the meanings seem to fit them, and fit the time in my life in which they were born.

Abby Leigh - God is Joyous, Meadow
Abby really changed my heart when she was born. I went from viewing kids as a pain (yup, I thought most kids were totally annoying, and maybe they are, but I still like them now, haha), to realizing that they are truly a blessing. Seriously, whenever I see babies or a pregnant woman now, I am filled with such JOY. Abby is why we stopped using birth control, and have slowly given our family's size over to God. We butt heads a lot me and my little girl, but there are times when she just is so compassionate and has such empathy and love for others, that I just know God is smiling, and I can't help but do it too. As for meadow? This girl loves the country. She loves goats! When she was little she would just sit and play with flowers in the grass for hours. Shortly after she was born, I heard a song about the lady of the leigh - and it described this beautiful and joyful woman, and I used to sing it to Abby to put her to sleep. I really feel like Abby's heart brings God such joy, and that she is growing into a beautiful and joyful woman of God. I pray that others will see God's joy in her, and that it can be used to bring others to Christ.

William Thomas - Determined Protector, Twin
Oh Will. My little fighter and swordsman. I can see him growing up to be a "protector". Or a warrior. And maybe a wee bit of trouble! He has already shown to be a protector of me and his sister. He kills bugs for us when Daddy isn't home, he refuses to let us touch moths outside because they might "bite us", and if he thinks someone is making us sad he steps in to tell the other person to watch it. He is such a funny little man, and such a troublesome little boy. I think little boys should be a bit troublesome though. It shows they have spirit, and I think so many men have maybe have lost their spirit nowadays, and that its a real possibility that a lot of that is our fault as women and as a society in  how we view boys and men. I love seeing my spirited little guy. I pray that he will grow up to not only be a protector of his sister and mother, but his wife, children and family, and a protector of the faith we have in Jesus Christ. He reminds me so much of his Daddy - with whom he shares a middle name. I love that he reminds me so much of the man that I chose to spend my life with. It makes me smile! There have been times since Will was born that I have doubted my faith, doubted my life, my choices, who I am. And I am reminded of the story of Thomas in the Bible, and how he doubted, and the Lord loved him, and showed him His hands, and Thomas had faith.

Aaron Josiah - Mountain of Strength, God helps
I have already seen glimpses of what God has in store with this little guy, and ways he has been used in my life already. I have already had to be so strong this pregnancy in the face of the down syndrome possibility, overcoming past birth trauma, dealing with unhappy family in regards to us having more children, and I always come back to sweet little Aaron, and how he is a blessing from God and has a purpose. And when I learned the meaning of his name, I knew God had great things in store for this little guy. I can't wait to meet him.