My Pregnancy Journal - Week 5, 32 Weeks

 Psalm 127:3-5  Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

I am really dragging the past few days. So this may not be the best update ever, haha. Sorry!

Pregnancy Stuffs:

• As I mentioned, I'm dragging. I feel soooo tired. The sleep thing is getting to me. I'm taking naps, trying to sleep as much as I can at night, but I am just plain tuckered out.
• My feet and ankles seem to be doing a little better with the swelling, as long as I rest and keep them up. Since I'm so tired, I've been laying around a lot more, which means my feet actually are almost normal looking. Yay! If you had seen them last pregnancy, sheesh, you would understand how excited I am about keeping the swelling in check!
• Baby Aaron is moving around in new and weird ways. I used to just feel him tapping about here or there, but now its like he is running across the front of my stomach from one side to the other. Its pretty funny...except when he is doing it at 2 AM. LOL.
• I'm starting to waddle. Don't laugh at me. 
• The past week has seemed like 3 weeks. The rest of this pregnancy is going to seem sooooo long! I forget how it always gets at the end. The excitement over being pregnant is done - now you just are excited to see your baby and be done, so the time crawls. 
• I got my belly wrap girdle type thing in the mail. When Will was born, the first time I got out of bed I felt like my organs were sloshing around and going to fall out the front of my body! I know, that sounds weird and creepy, but its how it felt! It disturbed me greatly, so I ended up using the baby wrap that I had packed in our hospital bag to just wrap around my stomach and hold myself together. It worked GREAT and I felt so much better, but I looked weird wearing it, haha. I wore it for the first few weeks at home and it really helped me heal and feel better, so this time I decided to invest in a postpartum belly belt thing (I don't actually know what they are called...) to use under my clothing after Aaron is born. I'm hoping it works the same as the wrap did, and if not, then I still have my wrap just in case! Haha.

Prayer Requests:

• My grandmother's younger brother passed away very late Thursday night from a heart attack. He is the first of her siblings to go, and he was in between surgeries to work on some clotting issues that would have lessened his risk of heart attack. Needless to say, his family is grieving and having a difficult time. I did not know him well, but I have fond memories of him from my childhood. He was a big gruff looking man, and so a lot of us kids were kind of scared of him (for no reason really, he just LOOKED mean, haha) but he LOVED kids and so he would pay us in quarters to let him tickle us and throw us around. Then we would get over our fears and play and have a wonderful time! He was like a big old mean looking teddy bear, and I have always remembered him that way, and I'm sure I always will. Unfortunately being this far along in my pregnancy, and my family being a 5 hour drive away, we just don't feel comfortable going to the memorial service. I feel so horribly about it because I want to be there to comfort and support my family, but I know that taking the car trip, especially with my swelling issues, is not a truly safe option right now. I wrote a sympathy card to send out, and it was so hard. I never know what to say. I just tried to let the Lord guide me in that. We will also have some flowers sent to the memorial since we can not be there. If you could just pray for my family at this time, it would be greatly appreciated.
• Also, Abby has brought up to us that she is interested in being baptized! I know she believes in Jesus and loves Him, but we want to make sure she truly understands the gospel and baptism, and what repentance is. So we are working with our pastor and talking with her in preparation for this. If you could pray for us as her parents, that we would be able to explain things to her in a way that she understands, and pray for Abby as she is considering making this decision to repent and make Jesus her Savior.

Discussion Question:  Will you find out the gender of the baby before birth?  Or have you already?  (I've been keeping the question light the past couple weeks because I am just fried from all this moving)!

Yes. It's a boy. His name is Aaron Josiah. =o)
Haha, but really though, I didn't doubt we would find out the gender this pregnancy. We have always found out. With my daughter, they weren't "entirely" sure, and that drove me crazy. I had a harder time preparing, and my husband and I always struggle over the names (we like very different styles of names typically) so it just was so much more difficult not being certain. I don't know if it would be harder or not if you planned not to know, but I just can't imagine doing it. Well, I guess that's not true. I could see if we are blessed with more children eventually wanting to experience that, once we have everything we need for a boy or girl baby, etc.   I did mention it to my husband this pregnancy, in a joking way, and he was adamantly opposed to the idea, so I don't know if we will ever wait until the birth to be truly surprised. 


In other news, a quick story I wanted to share. We visited some of my husband's family last weekend. We get together with them a lot as he has a small family and most everyone lives "in town" (its a very big city, so the other side of town is an hour away, lol). Well, somehow it came up where I said something like "if or when we have more children", something like that, and it set off a bit of a spark from my husband's aunt. I guess she didn't truly realize that we were open to (and even hoping) for more children after this. I guess she thought surely we could control ourselves after we had three! Then people started talking about how can anyone even afford all those children, etc. I felt uncomfortable, and the topic just kept coming up throughout the evening as we talked about different topics. I would bring up some friends of mine and it would come out that they had 4 children or 6 children or were expecting their 8th, etc., and I finally realized it was a hint from God that I needed to SAY something. I couldn't just keep saying "oh well you never really know" and "oh well children don't cost that much really depending on how you look at things". I was NOT being firm or clear in our position on children, and I was not glorifying God and honoring him in my responses. So after it came up again, I said something along the lines of "Well we really believe that children are a blessing from God and we have just given that over to God, so if he decides to bless us with more that would be great! And really when you trust in God and just realize that there is a difference between what children really need and society tells us they need, it doesn't cost that much, and God will always provide. He has so far!" Well...I got weird looks. But the topic didn't come up again. And I felt peace knowing I had just laid it out there instead of tip toeing around the issue forever.

My Pregnancy Journal Link Up - Week 4, 31 Weeks!

I am about to be 31 weeks. I can't believe it. It has now reached the point of "wow, I can't believe how fast this is going and that I will have a baby soon!!!", and "wow I am 31 weeks but I feel like I've been pregnant forever and how can I still have like 9 weeks to go???" Depends on the moment of the day on which thought is running through my head!

So, what's the low down this week?

• I am going to the doctor every 2 weeks now. Last week's appointment was smooth sailing. All is good, and I could basically not be doing anymore beautifully than I am, minus the anemic thing. Which isn't a huge deal fortunately. Doctor and I went through my birth plan, what I want, that my doula will be there, what issues could we run into with the hospital and their "rules", how can we compromise and work it out, blablabla, and I'm actually very happy with what we have laid out. My doctor and I are both ok with all the plans we have in place, and we discussed if things don't go as plan how that would go down as well. A huge weight has been lifted! Its good knowing that she is on board and we're all set.
• I am starting to gather supplies for my hospital bag. Got some little tiny soap and shampoo bottles, travel toothpaste and whatnot, and am starting to really think about what all I need to bring. I also really want to wear my own clothes during the delivery and afterwards because I can't stand those hospital gowns. Problem is, I don't have anything I'm cool with getting destroyed in birth, lol, and the gowns I have found online for are SO expensive for what they are. I have an idea for a "tshirt dress" style nursing/delivery gown that should be pretty quick to throw together, so I am hoping I will find the energy to just make a couple of those with some cheap shirts and fabric, since I am really only planning to use them the day of the birth and any time I have to spend in the hospital. And seeing as there is a fairly good chance they're not going to be so pretty after I have, ya know, had a baby in them, I don't want to spend a lot of money, lol.
• My ankles are officially SWOLLEN. I can't really get rid of it. I've tried. Its not too bad, but I glare at them in an unpleasant way all day. I'm trying to control them with my mind into shrinking, or at least not getting any bigger. My sweet husband has been rubbing my feet and ankles for me every night to help keep them from getting too bad. He's such a dear! Will tries to help rub them during the day sometimes. But he's 3, and basically just smacks them and then tells me they are better now. Oh well. At least he is trying. I think its sweet!
• I am totally craving ICE. OH my goodness. Ii is delicious!!! Last week I really "liked" ice...but this week if you were walking down the street with a snocone I would totally steal it out of your hands and feel no guilt or shame (ok, maybe a little guilt and shame...but I would probably still take it). Too bad I can't find any snocone places that are open!Sonic slushes are an ok substitute, but its just not the same. I find myself going to the kitchen and filling cups with crushed ice and just...eating it. I know its weird (and apparently called pica). From what I've read it seems to be connected with the anemia, but since its just ice and I'm not craving things like glass or dirt (seriously?) its not really a problem as long as I'm not munching on big gigantic pieces that could hurt my teeth.
• I finished making my baby registry/ries. We don't have a lot on there we need. My husband even made me add more things on there that I just "wanted" because he said our family will go look at it and have nothing to buy us, lol. I was trying to be conservative. Maybe I had taken it too far.
• I did buy a diaper bag today. I had 2 bags with Will - one was too small, the other too big, and I didn't like either. I gave the big one away, and I killed the small one by shoving it way too full all the time and by the time he was 18 months the poor bag was practically shredded at the seams. Diaper bags are WAY too expensive. So I found a cute tote at Walmart with a zippered top that was the perfect size, and it was less than $5. Score!
• There is still a baby in my rib. I'm sort of used to it now.
• I now can't get comfortable to sleep. I am sooo tired just because I keep waking up at night so many times. I guess I'm just getting trained for having a newborn again. Haha!

Discussion Question: Where will you be delivering your baby (hospital, birthing center, home, other)? What kind of birth are you planning for (vaginal, c-section, med-free...)?

We will be delivering at the hospital - same one where my son was born actually. We are planning vaginal, med-free birth. Both my children have been vaginal births and have had no issues at all as far as that goes. With both I did end up on an epidural, but this time I want to avoid that. The epidural may have been a contributing factor in an illness my daughter had when she was born, and then my son was very drowsy from it at first and took a while to breastfeed. I also feel like both times the epidural wasn't fully my choice, that I was kind of pressured into it by the hospital staff because I wasn't strong enough to stand up for what I wanted and didn't have the proper support. I think its fine to get an epidural if its your choice and its what you want or need to do. But I didn't have that experience, and so I feel like both my births were kind of "taken" from me. I don't want to feel that way this time. And I feel like God has put me in a place to where I have the right people around me, the right support, and the faith in Him that is going to get me through this. Whether its natural or there is a complication or whatever, this time I know that God is going to be in control, and he is going to guide me and give me peace with our decisions, so that I can have healing from my past experiences.


And now, just as a side note (a rather long side note). I think that baby names can mean a lot. Whether you plan for them to or not. So I wanted to share my kids names, and how I think its so neat how their names and the meanings seem to fit them, and fit the time in my life in which they were born.

Abby Leigh - God is Joyous, Meadow
Abby really changed my heart when she was born. I went from viewing kids as a pain (yup, I thought most kids were totally annoying, and maybe they are, but I still like them now, haha), to realizing that they are truly a blessing. Seriously, whenever I see babies or a pregnant woman now, I am filled with such JOY. Abby is why we stopped using birth control, and have slowly given our family's size over to God. We butt heads a lot me and my little girl, but there are times when she just is so compassionate and has such empathy and love for others, that I just know God is smiling, and I can't help but do it too. As for meadow? This girl loves the country. She loves goats! When she was little she would just sit and play with flowers in the grass for hours. Shortly after she was born, I heard a song about the lady of the leigh - and it described this beautiful and joyful woman, and I used to sing it to Abby to put her to sleep. I really feel like Abby's heart brings God such joy, and that she is growing into a beautiful and joyful woman of God. I pray that others will see God's joy in her, and that it can be used to bring others to Christ.

William Thomas - Determined Protector, Twin
Oh Will. My little fighter and swordsman. I can see him growing up to be a "protector". Or a warrior. And maybe a wee bit of trouble! He has already shown to be a protector of me and his sister. He kills bugs for us when Daddy isn't home, he refuses to let us touch moths outside because they might "bite us", and if he thinks someone is making us sad he steps in to tell the other person to watch it. He is such a funny little man, and such a troublesome little boy. I think little boys should be a bit troublesome though. It shows they have spirit, and I think so many men have maybe have lost their spirit nowadays, and that its a real possibility that a lot of that is our fault as women and as a society in  how we view boys and men. I love seeing my spirited little guy. I pray that he will grow up to not only be a protector of his sister and mother, but his wife, children and family, and a protector of the faith we have in Jesus Christ. He reminds me so much of his Daddy - with whom he shares a middle name. I love that he reminds me so much of the man that I chose to spend my life with. It makes me smile! There have been times since Will was born that I have doubted my faith, doubted my life, my choices, who I am. And I am reminded of the story of Thomas in the Bible, and how he doubted, and the Lord loved him, and showed him His hands, and Thomas had faith.

Aaron Josiah - Mountain of Strength, God helps
I have already seen glimpses of what God has in store with this little guy, and ways he has been used in my life already. I have already had to be so strong this pregnancy in the face of the down syndrome possibility, overcoming past birth trauma, dealing with unhappy family in regards to us having more children, and I always come back to sweet little Aaron, and how he is a blessing from God and has a purpose. And when I learned the meaning of his name, I knew God had great things in store for this little guy. I can't wait to meet him.

Got Fruit?

I just really wanted to share this today. I found it online when I was looking for something to give a family member as part of a little gift package, and reading this reminded me of how I was not too terribly long ago... I said I believed in Jesus, and maybe I did "believe" in Him... but I didn't trust Him. I wasn't following Him. I did not have the fruits of a person who has given their life over to Christ. Maybe some of you haven't either, I don't know. But I just have it on my heart to share this today, because this was me.

Jesus said in Matthew 7:16 that you will know a person by their "fruit." 

A person isn't a Christian just because he says he is, prays a little prayer, gets baptized or "asks Jesus into his heart." For someone to become a Christian, the Bible says that he must Repent of his sins and put his Faith/Trust in Jesus alone!

"For the Grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and Godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works."(Titus 2:11-14)

Here's the "good fruit" of the True Christian: the fruit of the spirit (Gal 5:22-23); the fruit of repentance (Matt 3:8); they will obey God (John 14:15); they will know Christ intimately (John17:3, Matt 7:23) and they will evangelize (Mark 16:15, 1 Cor 9:16).

Do you have the fruit of a Christian?

2 Corinthians 13:5

www.NoFruit.com

Pregnancy Journal Link Up - Week 3, 30 WEEKS!

30 weeks! AND Happy Mother's Day!

I am so excited to be 3/4 of the way done, and getting so close to having little Aaron in my arms instead of my ribs! (snicker)

First off, some WONDERFUL and exciting things happened this week that I am just ecstatic to share with you! Last week I shared my fears about giving birth in the hospital and not being able to have the type of birth we really want. I know you all must have been praying for us, because this week we found a doula to attend our birth at the hospital - and not only that, but she is not going to charge us for her services! She has almost completed her training and needs to have a certain number of attended births to complete the certification process, and so she is offering us her services for free. If she was not doing this, there is no way we could afford a doula at this later part of pregnancy. And on the same day that we found our doula, 2 of my sweet friends offered to throw a baby shower for me and baby Aaron!  After our last son was born, we lived in a very very tiny apartment and had no room to store all of our baby items when we were done with them. Not only that, but the area we lived in had many people around us who were in great need compared to us, and so when someone needed a car seat, we gave ours away. When someone's baby wouldn't nap and they wanted a swing, we let them take ours. We ended up with basically nothing left for Aaron, but I knew that God would work it out. Throughout the pregnancy we have been slowly obtaining items, and people have been so generous in giving us items they are done using. So even though we started the pregnancy with nothing for Aaron, we pretty much already do have everything we "need" and then some. We are still accepting this sweet blessing of a baby shower from my friends, and are just asking for very limited items. Also, we are taking donations in lieu of presents for those who feel so led, to donate to Reece's Rainbow. I am still working out all of those details, but I may also post it up here for anyone who would also like to donate to help a family. Can I tell you I cried when my friends offered this shower? I did not realize until that moment how sad I have been because of many people's lack of excitement over Aaron, and because of negative comments we have received about having another child (its only number 3, I was NOT expecting this!). I thought it was just annoying, but I realize now that I have people offering to just celebrate his life because he is a gift from God, that I have been sad for months deep in my spirit over this lack of joy about my child that has surrounded me from family. I know this has affected me spiritually in ways that I didn't realize until I let myself be open to this sadness. Now I can begin to heal. This week I have just been SO very blessed.

Now, pregnancy updates!

• My ankles have started to get a bit puffy. Sometimes my feet do too. I am not pleased! I had avoided it so far, and after my last pregnancy's HORRIBLE swelling, I thought I had managed to avoid this issue. I think its coming for me. So right now my feet are up, up, up!
• Yes, Aaron seems to be permanently parked in my right rib. At least I know he's ok from all the abuse he is giving me? Haha!
• No one sent me a cheesecake brownie. But I did get red velvet cake. It was equally delicious! I still am craving a cheesecake brownie though. Very muchly.
• I wrote out a birth plan. I was going to take it to my doctor at my appointment Tuesday, but may wait now to go over things with the doula beforehand. Although I am going to mention at my appointment that I do have a doula now.
• I don't think my maternity shirts are going to last another 10 weeks...

Prayer Requests this week?
We, are doing fabulously. So this week, I want to ask you to please pray for all the mothers out there who are considering abortion, whether they think its a choice, or their only option, or for medical reason, or they are being pressured, whatever! Just keep them in prayer, and their sweet little babies. I feel so passionately about life, but am regretful to admit how often I forget to specifically pray for the unborn, AND their parents. Also, pray for the Reece's Rainbow organization, the children waiting for their families, and the families involved with them that are trying to bring their children home. With Aaron potentially having Down Syndrome, seeing the faces of these beautiful children just touches my heart. No matter what, Aaron will always have a family who loves him and wants him exactly how God made him, but sadly there are some children who don't have that right now, and we can help them and pray for them.

Discussion Question: Who will be supporting you during your upcoming birth?  Will you have a doula?  Your husband?  A close friend or relative?  Do you have any advice for other pregnant moms who are considering a doula, or trying to decide who they want to have attend the birth?

Well, now you know it will be my husband and a doula! Why did we choose a doula? Well, we have considered it in the past, and decided against it with Will's pregnancy, and we had even decided against it earlier in this one. My husband didn't think he would be comfortable, and honestly I couldn't see spending money we could use for other needed things on someone being my cheerleader (ha) - no matter how much I thought I might need it. As the pregnancy has progressed and my concerns became more apparent, we both began to realize that we probably would not be able to have the birth we wanted, without additional support. About the time we really began to realize this, the free doula opportunity came up and it was just all God's timing. My advice - is to pray. Often we go off what we feel and want or think we need, but there is a much more amazing God out there who doesn't "think" he knows what we need, he DOES know. And if we ask, he will show us the way and provide us with what we need. Also, be realistic. You may NOT have your "perfect" birth. None of us knows how each birth will truly go. So do not hesitate to just give it all over to God and let him be involved and comfort and guide you! So often I think we as moms, especially regarding childbirth, can make it all about what we want and hope for, and we forget all about that trusting in the Lord part. Don't forget it. He's AWESOME.

My Pregnancy Journal Link Up - Week 2

How Far Along are you: 29 weeks  

Changes this week: There is a baby body part in my ribs continually. I am STARVING all day every day - huge change since I have NOT been hungry this pregnancy, and up until now have gained no weight whatsoever (I have a feeling that will have changed at my next appointment...) Ice chips, particularly ones leftover from a glass of lemonade, are amazingly delicious. I would also love you forever if you sent me a cheesecake brownie.

Medical Mumbo-Jumbo: I passed my glucose test with flying colors. I am anemic - but not too bad, and we are going to make some dietary changes so I don't have to add in more supplements. I think it would still be ok for you to send me a cheesecake brownie though.

Prayer Requests: I'm beginning to get tired and uncomfortable - and I've still got 11-ish weeks to go. This is beginning to have an effect on my other children (can we say grouchy Mama?). Also - see discussion question below.

Discussion Question:  Do you struggle with any fears about pregnancy, birth, and after?  Do you have any wisdom, tips, or advice on dealing with fear surrounding pregnancy and birth?  Let us prayer for one another in our fears.

Oh boy. This has been on my mind this week. As I get farther along, and I begin to really prepare for the birth, all kinds of fears and anxieties begin to rise up in me. My main fears right now? Honestly - nothing to do with Aaron or his health. I thought I would be worried about the chances of Down Syndrome or how we would handle it, but it doesn't even seem to be a factor in anything to me. I can confidently give this over to God and know that whatever happens, it is exactly how it is supposed to be. We have a few extended family members who have Down Syndrome, and I have gotten to see them grow up and see how their parents and our family has been changed and grown, and all I can see is blessings and just such a wonderful spirit in each of those children. This is not a fear for me, and for that I am so thankful to God for giving me this peace. My main fear, is the birth itself. Due to insurance "stuffs" we are limited in our birth location choices, and are having a hospital birth with an OBGYN (who I love btw, its the hospital I'm not so thrilled with...) My first birth was...a nightmare. I do not like to think about it at all sometimes. I was so young and uninformed and it was all just a mess. My daughter was born very ill even though she was full term, and the way the hospital and everyone handled it was so traumatic for all of us. With my son's birth, things were much improved, but with so many lingering fears from my daughter's birth, I was filled with anxiety the entire time and was afraid to speak up once admitted to the hospital for what I wanted the birth to be like, and so I gave in to many treatments that I did not at all want to have, just out of fear. I am not afraid of the pain that will come with this birth, or the health of the baby even though we went through such a terrible illness when my daughter was born - I am afraid that my past experiences will again take root in my mind during the birth, and I will be unable to stand up for myself and for my hope of having a natural birth.

A Week of Modest Outfits - Day 2

Day 2! So excited to continue sharing with you all this week. Here are our outfits from yesterday. Mondays around here are pretty casual - its a big work day for me as I try to put things back together after having us all home on the weekend. Since we try to make weekends about playing and family together time rather than keeping up with house work, Mondays are usually my busiest day of the week around our house. The looks below are our more "around the house" looks, or if we are running to meet up with friends or family for playing.

Maternity:

 

Purple Striped Shirt (was long sleeve and odd tunic style, I adjusted it to suit my needs) - Kohls

Khaki A-line Skirt* - Sewn by me, fabric from Joann's

*I had intended this to be longer, but as I am new to sewing, it turned out how it turned out after I made a few boo-boos. Since I am on a budget and still working on transforming my wardrobe into a skirts-only one, we decided this would be fine until end of pregnancy. Especially since this skirt ended up costing WAY more than I anticipated to make. Won't make THAT mistake again! I hope.

Again, my favorite pair of Brown Shoes - JCPenney

(Hidden from view) Be Band/Belly Band (It helps tuck in my protruding belly B, lol) - Target

Girls:

Pink Top (larger sized shirt for length, taken in slightly on the sides for fit) - Walmart

Floral Print Straight Skirt - Sewn by me with $1.50 fabric from Walmart!

(Hidden from view) Black leggings (full length that we cut to knee length) - Zulily 

White Flip-Flops - Walmart

Linking Up With: